Tuesday, 16 October 2012
So... there I was, browsing away in my Kindle store, minding my own business, when up pops a book that wasn't even on my 'to read' list.
Yes... I was looking for a read of a different kind, but believe me when I tell you Zombies are not normally on that list because... well... because they scare the B.G.Bs out of me!!
Your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now.
Fully illustrated & exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege and how to adapt in any territory or terrain.
Top 10 lessons for surviving a Zombie attack...
1 - Organize before they rise!
2 - They feel no fear, why should you?
3 - Use your head; cut off theirs.
4 - Blades don't need reloading.
5 - Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6 - Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7 - Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8 - Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9 - No place is safe, only safer.
10 - The Zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.
Don't be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset = life. The guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life!!
Who knew there was a survival guide for this? I certainly didn't and yes... I probably have my head buried in the sand since even the CDC is on the bandwagon. (http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm - a very interesting site even in preparing for natural disasters.)
I suspect I'll be walking out of Wally World on the 21st of December, once again minding my own business, and run head long (pun intended) into one (or more) of the walking dead.
Hopefully my brain won't be of interest because I will have been retired long enough that there won't be much gray matter left for him/her (equal opportunity brain) to enjoy.
Then again, perhaps a bright smile & a hug will so totally surprise them, that they will be left standing in the dark with their mouth wide open in shock. Oh wait... Most of them already have their mouths open. Well... you get the picture.
Could you sleep with this covering your bed?
And... Now that I've totally creeped myself out (and possibly my readers)
**They must be very close. You can hear every guttural breath, every rattling groan - they're everywhere. There's only one thing you can do...